Gender issues in Uganda

A couple of weeks ago we visited the Acholi Cultural Center, which involves the local chiefs in preserving Acholi culture and promoting development in this region. We spent the majority of the conversation discussing Acholi views towards women and what they are doing to promote gender equality, which is one of their four main goals.

When we asked if women can hold the position of chief or if any other leadership positions in the tribe are open to women, he said that women are allowed to hold one of the highest leadership positions that exist- being a mother and taking care of the household. WHAT?! Yes, being a mother is extremely important, but that is not the same thing as actually having the opportunity to hold a leadership position in the tribe! He said that each district must have a female representative, but it basically sounds like this one woman is the main voice for the women in that area and is the token “women’s representative,” but that women don’t really hold many (or any) positions of power that are open to both men and women. He said that women are beginning to become more active in decision-making within the tribe. Women are now allowed to own land, but because certain cultural norms have existed for such a long time, it will be a process to change what people consider “normal” and acceptable. I definitely think that it has to be a process, but it made me really uncomfortable to hear how they (the men we spoke to) were talking about women, because it seemed pretty disrespectful towards women in many instances. They spoke about how in the past, it was completely acceptable for a man to force a women to sleep with him whether she protested or not, because “even if she says she doesn’t want to, she actually does and is just pretending.” Um, what? One girl in our group pointed out later in a debrief that women often pretend to want to sleep with their partner because they feel like they should, even if they don’t feel like it, NOT the other way around. I know that it is not like this anymore, but it was still disturbing to hear how these men were talking about rape so casually, and even laughing at times.

It has been really interesting to speak with both men and women here about their perceptions of the current status of women in Uganda. Both men and women have told me that women face many challenges, especially in terms of marriage. Because of the tradition of bride price (the same as a dowry), the man’s family pretty much buys the woman. This means that if they have marriage problems or if the woman is being abused by her husband, her family will often force her to stay with him because his family paid for her. Because of this, many women are trapped in bad marriages, and if they do leave their husband, they are left with nothing. I imagine this must create a feeling of helplessness among women in this situation-you have no support to leave, but it is also miserable to stay.

Another issue people have mentioned is polygamy, which is still largely practiced here. One woman I met told me that it can be very upsetting for a woman to be in a marriage like this because the wives are often not treated equally, and some are treated much better than others. (I met a guy who told me that his dad has 15 wives and 48 children!! He said that this is extremely rare, but still!) She said that this can create tension between a man’s wives, and sometimes a man will get tired of some of his wives, (when he has many) he will get rid of some of them. She also said that even if a woman thinks she is in a monogamous marriage, there is still a large chance that her husband is cheating on her. She told me that she would leave her husband immediately if he tried to get another wife, but since she is working in Gulu and he is working in Kampala, she just has to trust that he is staying faithful to her.

It has been interesting to study the dynamic in my host family because my dad has two wives. One of them is younger (31) and does not speak any English (I don’t know whether that indicates something about her education level because all of the children are taught English in school?) She seems kind of quiet and pretty subservient, and doesn’t seem to interact very much with the husband. The other wife is older (about his age), speaks English pretty well, and seems to have more power in terms of running the household. It’s hard for me to get a sense of the dynamic between the two women, but they seem to live together fine, eat together, and share a lot of the housework. I haven’t seen any animosity between the two women, but I’m not sure if they are particularly close either. One of my mothers explained to me that a big problem for women in Uganda is that they have to do all of the work in the household, while the man does nothing around the house. This means that the woman is constantly working, which is exhausting and can lead to major health problems. I think that this is a huge problem for women all over the world, and one of the first steps towards changing the status of women is to begin within the household. This is such a difficult process because it involves fighting long-standing norms and requires the cooperation of both the man and the women- the woman has to be strong about the role she wants in the relationship, and the man has to support that and take on an equal share of the work in the household. The structural changes need to be made to enable women to gain leadership positions and have equal opportunities and rights, but I do think that both here and at home, changes within the household would be a major first step.

In the few weeks I have been in Gulu, I have seen/heard of many instances of domestic violence. One night during dinner we heard a ton of children suddenly begin crying and yelling nearby. My mother and siblings all ran over to see what was happening, and it turned out that our neighbor’s husband had just gotten home drunk and was beating his wife in front of their children. My mother told me about it when she returned home, and it was really disturbing to me how commonplace this seemed. A few nights ago, there was a woman eating dinner with us who I had never seen before, and my mother told me that she is their niece, who had run away from her abusive husband. Both of her parents have passed away, so I think my family was her closest family, and so she had ridden on the back of pickup trucks and taken many different taxis to get to our house. She explained that this woman’s husband is very stubborn and beats her badly. She said that she will likely stay with us until her husband comes to get her. It is awful to think that this woman will probably have to go back to her abusive husband. Last night, the woman’s mother in law stayed at our house, apparently to speak with the woman and with my family about what they should do about the situation. Apparently the father-in-law will be coming to our house in the next few days, and then shortly after that the woman’s husband will come to work things out and bring her back with him. It is so interesting how involved the two families are in the relationship between this man and woman, and it was really interesting to sit in our kitchen hut eating dinner with my mother, this woman, and this woman’s abusive husband’s mother, an unusual combination! I wonder what the role of the mother-in-law is in this situation, and if she sides more with the woman or with her son.

I have heard really mixed opinions on the progress that has been made for women. Some people have made it sound like it is much better now, and other made it sound like there are still MAJOR problems. My guess is that both are true- it has gotten a lot better but there is still a LONG WAY to go. In order to change the situation, initiatives are going to have to be taken on several different levels- in government, through legal mechanisms, within the community, and on the family level, and target many different groups-men, women, government officials, villagers, etc. This is definitely not unique to Uganda however, I think initiatives like this need to take place in nearly all (if not all) parts of the world.